All My Secrets

by Jessamyn Rains

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credits

released October 1, 2016

Album produced, engineered, and mixed by Ryan Corn at Green Acres Studio in Cape Girardeau, MO
www.ryancornmusic.com

“When I See You Again”  and “Land of the Living” produced by Erik Nelson at Eclipse Studios in Normal, IL
www.eclipsestudios.net

Artwork by Jack Whitney
www.visualresonancestudio.com

All songs written by Jessamyn Rains, except track 1, Jessamyn Rains & Charles Klamut

www.jessamynrains.com

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Jessamyn Rains St. Louis, Missouri

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Track Name: Won't They Be Surprised
Won't they be surprised when they find out I'm alive in here
Won't they be surprised when they find out I'm alive in here
They left me for dead and just figured I would somehow disappear

Won't they be surprised when they find out I'm not what they thought
Won't they be surprised when they find out I'm not what they thought
They wrapped me up in grave clothes, won't they freak out when I start to take them off

I'm a voice in a cage
I am an ox in a muzzle treading out the grain
I'm imprisoned and blind
I've been thwarted and stifled, but I'm biding my time
Till that day when you hear me coming out with a roar, saying
I just won't take it anymore

Won't they be surprised on that day when hidden things are revealed
Won't they be surprised on that day when hidden things are revealed
When every window every door flies open and we see what's been concealed

Won't they be surprised when they see me breaking down that door
Won't they be surprised when they see me breaking down that door
This tomb is getting stuffy and I just don't want to live here anymore

I'm a voice in a cage...

Won't they be surprised when they find out I'm alive in here
Won't they be surprised when they find out I'm alive in here
They left me for dead and just figured I would somehow disappear
Track Name: Without Love
The man at the coffee shop told me I gotta love my self
So I bought me some secondhand clothes
Some dollar store makeup and some high-heeled shoes
And I went out to face the world

How can I live without love...

The beggar at the station, he wants to take my cash
But I’ve only got enough to catch my train
As I roll on past him into my lonely life
My heart sings its sad refrain

How can I live without love…

I remember the feast
I can see it through the window
Memories of fullness and life

Waiting for the crumbs
To come falling from the table
I’m eating with the beggars tonight
But it’s all right

How can I live without love..
Track Name: Higher Ground
Somebody's drowning tonight
Got his unemployment check
Drinking at home alone with the classifieds

A thousand clicks of the mouse
Drowning in the Internet
Brain cells pinned beneath its unearthly light

He's asking how do I aspire
What do I do with my desire
I've tried so long, I'm sinking now
Is there a way to higher ground
Higher ground

Somebody's drowning tonight
Drowning in a mini-van
Beneath some plastic bags from the Super Wal-Mart

She's singing even though
Pop song on the radio
For all its flashing lights, is just a wooden heart

She's asking how do I begin
To find my way to happiness
I've tried so long, I'm sinking now
Is there a way to higher ground

Higher ground, higher ground
Is there a way to higher ground
I've tried so long, I'm sinking now
Is there a way to higher ground
Higher ground

I was drowning tonight
Drowning in the cemetery
I asked the granite graves
What would Granny say

She'd say lift up your eyes
Look beyond the power lines
Look up to heaven's face
And have a little faith

I asked how do I learn to stand
Upon this earth of sinking sand
When desperate waves of fear abound
Is there a way to higher ground

Higher ground...
Track Name: Land of the Living
Been down so low, you know, you know
Valley of dry bones, a hungry ghost
Haunted house, I'm a walking dead woman
Can these bones live, you know, you know

Take me by the hand
Lead me to the land of the living, the living
For the faint and poor
Open up the door to the living, the living
The land of the living

Been down so long, my light grown dim
A pile of ashes, a soul grown thin
Hollow, empty and full of winter wind
I ask again, can these bones live

Take me by the hand...

When I rise
When I run
When daylight comes
With its warmth and healing
i will sing the songs of the living

Take me by the hand
Lead me to the land of the living, the living
For the faint and poor
Open up the door to the living, the living

Take me by the hand
Lead me to the land of the living, the living
To the flowing streams
To the sun and green of the living, the living
The land of the living
Track Name: 4th Floor
Just one more hour now, just one more lecture
Just a few more black marks on this white dry erase board
One more stack of papers and a few more questions
Just one thing on my mind, just this one thing

Don't you know I need you...

Control my movements as I walk these halls
I keep from running as I step onto snowy sidewalks
A million students and a dozen cop cars
One pair of headlights pushing reaching past them all

Don't you know I need you..

Follow the traffic
Through the stoplights
Circle the parking deck
Take the elevator to the fourth floor
Just a few seconds more

Don't you know I need you...
Track Name: Why Do You Hide
In the watches of the night
I can't see where I am going
And I stumble into thoughts
And a dark polluted river runs through them

In the watches of the night
While everyone is sleeping
I stumble into griefs
In the grip of pain I lie awake and sing

Why do you hide in times of trouble?
Why do you stand so far away?
Why do you hide in times of trouble?
Why do you stand so far away?
Why do you hide your face?
Why do you hide your face from me?

I look for open doors
I search the heavens for the signs I know
There's an infinite expanse
But it's hidden by the haze of circumstance

There's a window in my mind
I keep thinking of the stories that I've heard
All their prisons all their dooms
All their resurrections and their empty tombs

Why do you hide..
Track Name: Befriend You
In your lonely streets, in your empty highways
With your polyester shirt and your long tangled hair
I will be there in your haunted rooms
I will befriend you

When your hit record drops and you're suddenly a rockstar
Got your Bono sunglasses, pleather pants painted on
You can find me in the three-second silence between songs
My love rings on

Over the crowds and sounds of superficial lovers
With plastic Barbie doll hearts that don't know how to beat
In your halls of years, in your river of days
When you feel them slipping away
Remember me

When you wake up in the morning and you find you're 47
And you're living in the suburbs with your four-stall garage
Stuck in traffic in your hybrid car
I'm not as far as you think

Over the crowds and sounds of superficial lovers
With plastic Barbie doll hearts that don't know how to beat
In your halls of years, in your river of days
When you feel them slipping away
Remember me

In your garden of grief, on your hill of crosses
When you're staring into that gaping tomb
I will find you, look into my eyes
Let me remind you

Over the crowds and sounds...
Track Name: Birds in Cages
Isn't it time to loosen the bonds
Isn't it time to break every yoke
Let the captives go free

Isn't it time to straighten the roads
Isn't it time to turn on the lights
Maybe open some windows

I keep seeing birds in cages
Singing to themselves, nowhere to fly
I keep seeing birds in cages

Isn't it time to say something true
Isn't it time to listen real hard
And try to understand someone else

Isn't it time to tear down the walls
Isn't it time to open our mouths
And plead for justice

I keep seeing birds in cages
Singing to themselves, nowhere to fly
I keep seeing birds in cages
Track Name: When I See You Again
Tell me we were happy
Tell me I was good to you
Tell me we were lucky
That the years were sweet, though few

And when you sailed that night
Into the indigo sky
Tell me it was lovely
The story of you and I

And when I see you again
All joy and lightness
There I will greet you again
In peace and brightness

Somewhere beyond all fear
When God wipes away these tears
There at the end of my years
I know I'll see you again

You never were the richest
You were generous and kind
You never became famous
You earned the respect of the wise

And when you sailed through death's door
Into your eternal reward
Tell me it was worth it
To live so good and pure

And when I see you again...
Track Name: Good Measure
The well is deep, you've got nothing to draw with
Sitting alone in the heat of the day
Feels like love is scarce in this season
Compared to the springs of yesterday
When living water flowed

The well is deep, you feel dried up and empty
Standing alone as the crowd rushes by
Looking around at the lines of the city
The haves and the have-nots side by side
And the distance grows

Open your hands, open your heart
It feels like love is scarce, but it's not
Give, it shall be given to you
Give, it shall be given to you

Good measure, pressed down,
Shaken together, running over
It shall be given to you
It shall be given to you in good measure

Come listen to the words of the prophet
He told me everything I ever did
Named my compulsions, all my addictions
Spoke to my thirst infinite
Endless thirst for love

Open your hands, open your heart
It feels like love is scarce, but it's not
Ask, it shall be given to you
Ask, it shall be given to you

Good measure, pressed down
Shaken together, running over
It shall be given to you
It shall be given to you
In good measure
Track Name: All My Secrets
All my secrets
All my heaviness
Things that plague me
Things that shake me
Oh Lord Jesus
You can see these, I know

All my white lies
All my fake smiles
All my callousness
Unkept promises
Oh Lord Jesus
You can see these, I know

All my heartaches
All my losses
Wildernesses
And all my crosses
Oh Lord Jesus
You can see these, I know

All my hunger
And alll my thirsting
All my blessings
All my hurting
Oh Lord Jesus
You can see these, I know

All my joys
And my celebrations
Heights of love
And my soul's elations
Oh Lord Jesus
You can see these, I know